I've been wanting to talk about this for a long time now. Yet I could never find the courage to ventilate my thoughts. Maybe it's because of the magnitude of the context, which is obviously far too intricate for me to ever comprehend, or just the fact that I don't really know how to argue about something so introspective and personal. But lately it's all that's on my mind and I thought maybe it's a good time to just spit it all out before that impulse is killed again. Gah, can't believe I'm about to do a post on faith.
First of all, I know NOT a lot people believe in the same faith as I do, so you'll probably have to read this as though you're reading my personal diary, as though it's written only for my own eyes. I don't mean to offend anybody but just in case I do, you should know it's purely unintentional and I hope you don't take it into heart. I mean it's just another opinion right? Of course if you don't feel good about where this is going, then you should probably stop reading on.
So here goes. As much as I do believe in the existence of God, I'm not exactly your average theist. I always thought religious proceedings are long and tiring. Prayers also weren't exactly something I would do unless there's a really important exam coming up. But being in a very very religious family, I did reluctantly attended religious camps a couple of times. To be honest, the experience was tedious, almost torturous even and I found myself writhing in apathy all the time. Yet it didn't take a very attentive mind to grasp what they were trying to instill in us, especially when they kept emphasizing on the same things over and over again. I'm talking daylong talks, 5 am meditation, prayers before meals. Basically we were made to go through all of those to understand two simple principles, love and gratitude. Well they obviously didn't mean a lot to me back then, but now, it's all making sense.
To me, religion is larger than God. It's about building people, and bringing out the good in them. What I really love about the religion I believe in is that it makes God look selfless. It moves the spotlight away from God a little and focuses on instilling the teachings of love and gratitude which I feel is more applicable and practical in life, compared to preaching about saints and heaven all the time. God's role in this all is just a teacher. Of course there are some people who choose to look at God as something more, but that's entirely personal. I believe there's no such thing as doing something in the name of God because it's invalid in the context of my religion, which says instead that everything revolves around a reason and a cause.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say that my religion is doing things the right way and other religions aren't. It's just that with my perception of religion as you have read, I don't understand how can people proclaim that religion or God comes before everything else, or commit to religious associations financially and refuse to support their own family or give to the less fortunate. I don't understand why some people are putting so much of their time and effort into religion but don't even care to take a look at how the people beside them are doing. It's like the only think they care about is their "religious conscience". What about the "human conscience"?
Personally, I don't think people should be defined by religion. For me, I don't want people to remember me as "a good Christian" or "a good Buddhist" or "a good Islam", but as a person who is true to others and himself. I want to know that I'm loving everybody right, or at least as well as I can and that I'm doing everything within my means to make the world a better place. I'm sure God would appreciate that more than prayers or visits to religious grounds. And I think before you can really love and sacrifice for God, you must first learn to love and sacrifice for the people around you. No matter how strong your faith is, always keep yourself grounded and remind yourself who really made you what you are today.
I hope what I said doesn't turn out self-righteous, because that's exactly what I'm writing against. And I also don't mean to question anybody's religion. I'm just really sick of some people using religion to push others around and acting like they themselves are God. I just hope this would justify some of them. Before I sign off, I'd like to quote a verse from the bible which I think sort of concedes with what I'm trying to say.
"1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain, faith, hope and love. But the greatest of all these is love."
Love,
leiwen.
ps: Happy August!
